God Love

How He Loves : A Song Story from john mark mcmillan on Vimeo.

It's been soo long since my mind has been right. It hasn't even been a year yet and my faith suffers. And I've realized that I can't sit here and keep tallying these transgressions up like a math test or something. You don't get a score when you come out at the end of life. There is no great truth that this world is meant to teach us. "We were meant to live for so much more, and we lost ourselves," I've lost myself to the pressure. And sometimes I get so lost that I can't feel anymore. You know how it is, like you're in a room with a bunch of people and all you can here is your thoughts. All you can see is your own hurt radiated through the eyes of others. And it affects the way you live, it puts a shade on your light. But God loves us through that. God realizes that this struggle isn't easy. He understands me even though I can't allow myself to understand me. I forget that every storm, every victory, every failure, every situation, every struggle, every pain, and every thing... is for HIS glory. He's constantly molding us and changing our shape, even when it seems like he's put us on the shelf. That's so gnarly.

And as stupid as I am, as black and white as I try to make it, I forget about the Love. I forget about the blood and the empty tomb. That's all there is to this. He was pierced for my transgressions, he was led silently to slaughter like a lamb led to shearers, the world didn't know what or who he was, but his glory STILL remains forever and ever. That's it. I forget there's good news. I'm so rich I can't see through the fog in my window to see the sun shining directly upon my life. God blesses me still, every single day with health and life. Today, I'm so thankful. I should be thankful everyday but I'm not. I need to remember what's important and that is his love. It endures, it never fails, it doesn't count wrongs, it doesn't boast. It's beautiful and it lasts.

Praise be to God, my God, who has overcome the grave.