Serving

Today was awesome, I had some chill classes and at church they had a worship and baptism service. There's nothing like the feel of worship, and just giving up your burdens and your stress and just thanking God for being God. Thanking him for intervening on my pitiful life and giving me substance and substantiality and identity. Oh how I miss Him when I'm away. It's sad how I always have to remind myself of how good and awesome and loving He is. Life just seems like nothing without Him, and I owe my all to his work.

Along with an awesome worship service I got into some pretty deep conversations about religion and life in general. Sometimes I feel bad cause when I talk about God it seems so foreign to people and they never seem to comprehend what I'm saying or how great God has affected my life. I always find myself talking and talking and I just wish people could feel what I feel. Just that feeling of being at one with who you are, knowing that regardless of what you do you'll make it. Your life will mean something. I love that feeling.

So one of the topics that I kept coming around to regarding life and not knowing things and living aimlessly was serving. There's something strong in my heart that's telling me that serving is really all that matters. Helping others and giving my skills and time and influence to fellow humans seems to be the only thing that satisfies my soul. I feel like if I don't do anything else with my life, I'd be happy just to talk to young people. I feel like we get everything sugar coated until we get to high school. I know we're not mature enough to understand certain things before then, but at the same time we've been somewhat brainwashed to believe that a life worth living is defined by something. We lose the concept that our life is our life ya know? We start buying into this whole continuum of being Americans or catalysts to society and what not and we then suppress our hearts. We let go of the child in us... that part that allows us to be free and to dream and to believe. We become concrete and cold to circumstances that don't fit our framework of how our lives should be; when honestly, life is life, it is what it is.

I'm not gonna sit here and say I miss the days when things were simple and yada yada yada, because I don't. I don't even remember what I was all about before I found Jesus, and I'm not gonna lie, my life became harder when I submitted myself to God. But there is something to be said about the tranquility, grace, and wisdom received from the king of kings. He gives me confidence to walk in darkness, he lifts me up and gives me strength when I'm weary, he literally is my physical, mental, and emotional healer. He keeps my heart in check and allows me to grow and learn. It is such a beautiful thing being alive. Being able to look at something not so good and have a reason to be happy. Looking at a tough situation and saying, "God, this one's all you". That's so beautiful. I know these are just words but it's so much more to me. I hope someday, regardless of what you believe, you'll have this feeling of atonement. The feeling of being satisfied. Finally not having to search this barren Earth for your next fix. I'm so happy I can look at my life and say, "This is great, this is what living is." That's special.

Keep The Peace