The Town

Isn't it crazy how life is? The fact that we come from two cells that meet together and they hold on to each other and they grow together and become this beautiful unified being. Then that being is born into a foreign world and grows and changes and becomes an individual. An individual that seeks to be united once again with another being so they can grow and become unified and do the same process over and over. And during this whole subplot there's this main plot where these individuals are expected to "live" and experience certain things and make choices that are expected to matter. These individuals make plans and "acquire and "spend" paper to supposedly obtain the rights to certain materials which are expected to enhance their life. But really at the end of the day these things don't exactly matter. All that sounds pretty nuts to me.

Yet we all live this life that if one that is from out of this world read it in a story, it would sound like an adventure. If I heard that one would have to start as a cell and go through all this metamorphosis and learn how to coexist in a foreign world it'd be pretty gnarly. As humans we believe in this thing called love. We believe in happy endings. We believe in adventures and luck and chance and all these great things, but I find it hard to live the adventure you know? Like do any of you guys find that? You see the movies and read the books and by default this life is supposed to be so fulfilling and yet it doesn't feel that way. This somewhat hit me today... for the millionth time.

Sometimes I have to step back and look at the big picture. And you can't help but ask yourself what good living to gain more knowledge, and then make money, and then get married, and then have kids, and then lahh dee dahh dahh when there's no guarantees. There's no guarantees that when I follow my beautiful plan that I've had paved out since I was 7 (not true but for some yes) that the end product will be happiness. That's all we really want right? To be happy or satisfied or something of that nature. So then this comes down to what really makes you happy. And when I think about what really makes me happy, it's funny how those things always take the back seat. Even if they're things that are by definition honerable, like volunteering or teaching or talking to kids etc. It always seems that "living" is comprised of a bunch of other things that everyone seems to buy into, which propels this world to go through cycles by which it rebuilds and destroys itself by the hands of man. Why is that?

I know the answer. But it doesn't make it anymore of a mystery. The root of all evil is pride. If you disagree with me feel free to debate me. But I'm still shocked about it all. Why does life feel so meaningless sometimes. Like we're forced to go through this whole procedure so we're spit out of the machine of america as an "american", defined by certain credentials. Why is that pull there? And who put it there? I find a lot of times when I read the stories and watch the movies that I find myself just wanting love and affection. Respect can be earned by your peers depending on the way you act but love and affection doesn't exactly work the same. No matter what I do, I might not be in a position to receive love and affection from anyone. And it's sad because I believe in love and the idea that there's one woman out there for me, but I could literally be falling for other ones that won't be able to give me what I'm looking for, and I might be the guy that isn't right that won't be able to give them what they're looking for. And it's something we can't predict, we can't control, we can't orchestrate. It just happens.

Life is so much of that. It's so much of just jumping and praying. We wake up and there's no promise that I'll get in that car and return home. There's no clause saying that Egey can not die on a sunny day while riding a longboard with a helmet on. Life encompasses all that we believe, multiplied by emotions, and divided by our perspective on reality. As we grow and embark on whatever adventure that we sign up for, we realize that things NEVER go the way they're planned. I don't remember the last time I wasn't surprised by life. And I know this whole thought process went absolutely nowhere and probably elightened a total of 1 mind, but isn't that what this is all about. If not then what is this all for. If 1 person wasn't willing to love me and lay down their pride for me, then wouldn't we all just be robots? Would there be any good in this world if not for the individual? If not for faith in something that's good and true?

Today as I sit here wishing that I had a friend to just chat the night away with, I want everyone to remember that this life is fragile, unpredictable, and unfair. We live day to day and we need to remember what it feels like to love. We need to understand that people NEED us. Someone out there needs YOU. Whether you believe it or not it's true. Wake up everyday for that reason. Don't wake up for the money, don't wake up for the fame, don't wake up for the posessions, don't wake up for anything else. Get up and sweat and bleed and cry for eachother. Cause without eachother we have nothing. And nothing ain't a whole lot of something, especially when you're alone.

Keep The Peace