Places. It's weird how just sights and smells can bring back memories. I wish I could say how I feel right now, but I can't really describe it. I guess I'm more reflective than anything. Four years is a long time to be consumed. Something about this summer is a lot different from all the other ones. I guess I've come to the time where I'm at one with whatever life is going to throw at me. I'm not worrying nor am I super duper excited. I'm just sorta letting it be I guess is the best way to describe it maybe?
Anyways... today I just decided was going to be an Egey day. Egey day's consist of just doing whatever Egey wants to do, which usually makes Egey day's very constructive because I can finally just take care of some stuff that I need to take care of. I decided that I would clean out my closet, watch some soccer, and work on some photos. I accomplished all 3 which was nice and had time to take a nap and work with a couple of songs that I'll be mixing soon. Overall it's been a quality day. Around 7 I decided I needed to get out of the house so I cruised out to Lansdowne to hit the creek and take some pictures. I'm trying to get myself back into using my camera because I love taking shots I just get too lazy to do it now a days. It's pretty funny how the days when you're not looking for anything in particular to shoot you find yourself with lots of subjects at your disposal. I think that's what I like about photography and how I go about it, whatever I get is what I get, and I like to make the best of what I bring and what is in front of me.
As soon as I hopped out my car I saw a deer just chillin in the woods. That's the best feeling, there's just something about nature that just brings me home. I don't know what it is, but I think something about the solitude and the co-existance is what makes me really comfortable. When I was out there today I realized that shooting nature for me is about just being out there. It's about finding that next spot and taking a couple minutes to really tap into the environment and see what's going on. If you look close enough there's these flies that just sidestep back and forth in this dried mud that sits upon the creek rocks. It's fascinating how that is going on while dragonflies are cleaning their wings and fish are swimming in the stream and deer are roaming the woodlands. Life is everywhere, yet there is an un-mentioned respect with these animals that is really beautiful. Animals don't just kill to kill, they don't just eat because they feel like eating berries today, they don't just spend their days wishing they were something else or trying to figure out how to one up their peers. They just live. I find it really interesting how we call people animals when they get out of control and do something crazy, when really animals just seem content. They seem happy in one way or another. It's almost like they've accepted the reality of life and death, and with that reality they've decided to focus on what's truly essential. I feel like that's where the human downfall is somewhat. We have the ability to do great things, but instead we use this ability to control everything instead of positively exist among all other beings. It's weird to think about it that way but I think it's true. God has given these animals the tools to live among other life with a purpose that is embedded within them. I'd like to think that on a simpler level I am similar to these animals. I have a purpose and I can make it in this world without having to be number one at everything. I know my place and I know what I'm here to do. I like that.
As I walk around Goose Creek I realize that I haven't been there in over a year. It seemed just like yesterday when it was me, skogy, andrew, and 'nam hitting that creek up everyday. A lot of who I am is the same, I still where white tee shirts and flip flops, I still love nature, and I still love taking pictures. But I must admit I've changed a lot and just reminiscing at these familiar sites and taking photos there again shows me some things about myself. I don't yearn for the company anymore. Time alone in solitude is time cherished for me now. It's weird, as much as I'm at home wishing I was doing something awesome, I soon realize that I like being my own company a lot more than not. I can think freely and just be me. It's nice not having to talk, not having to care, not having to feel. These moments are the times when I feel as free as I've ever fealt on this Earth.
Life is a sequence of events. A lot of them seem really similar and our wisdom grows and develops everyday. Through taking pictures I've realized that life is a lot like revisiting an old stomping ground like I did today and going through the motions again. When you take pictures you compose in your mind how you want it to look, you frame it with the camera, and then at the right moment you capture it. Life is very similar and I've noticed when you come back to familiar places and do the same thing, you realize how different you are from before and how much you've learned. You look at the same subject and the same environment in a different way, and sometimes that's all it takes. Just a new outlook on what was always there in front of you to begin with.
Cruising through the streets of Lansdowne on my longboard I retraced my footsteps to the home of where an awesome girl I knew used to live. That was the first time I'd seen that house in over a year and I'm not gonna lie it evoked some emotion. I walked to the same playground we hung out at and took a second to remember. No matter how things turn out, we always have the good memories and it's nice to hold on to that. She crosses my mind every once in awhile and to be honest I like to forget all the nonsense that happened and focus on who she was. She's an amazing person and it's people like that in this world that give me hope for the future. When we talked she said she was writing a book, and if you who I'm referring to ever reads this, I hope someday you'll finish that book and remember me cause I want a copy.
Like I said before, people come and people go, but those who take the time to dig deep enough to reach your heart leave a lasting imprint upon it forever. Alright this is becoming a reflective essay so I'm just gonna stop haha. I'll post some before and after pictars of some of these places just so you as well as I can see the difference in these places through my eyes.
"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away. My life is no longer than the width of my hand. An entire lifetimes is juast a moment to you; human existence is but a breath."
Psalm 39
Keep The Peace
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