I feel like I can describe myself right now a lot better in pictures than in words so here it goes...

I know... it's confusing.

Sunday the 28th of March

I'm just tired of thinking. I feel like I wear myself out with thoughts a lot. The busier I get the more I just want to get away from it all. "Life". I've noticed that as I'm growing older I'm becoming less interested in experiencing life and more interested in having peace. Peace is a big thing for me, because when I'm at peace I'm truly happy. I'm starting to appreciate the quiet, the value of time, my gifts and blessing. But when I'm at my best I feel sometimes is when I'm not thinking at all... It's when I'm bombing the hill with no time to think about what happens, it's when I'm passing a defender with pace, It's when my 16 bar solo comes up, It's when I'm called to be extraordinary in a normal situation. I appreciate times like these because before each one there is a certain moment where the transfer from thinking to excuting occurs, and that fraction of time I feel at my best. It's 100 percent instinct. I wish this world sometimes wasn't trained to think about what little Sally Jenkins thinks about our decisions and listen to our hearts as if we didn't have time to contemplate. Sometimes the world needs someone that works from the inside instead of the outside. I like that idea.

On formspring, the topic of liking someone came up today, and to be quite honest it caught me by surprise. I dunno why, I feel like I don't know what that feeling feels like anymore. Girls are so hard to read and understand that I've literally given up trying. I don't have time for the games anymore nor the emotional tolerance. I feel like I'm looking for something really special. I guess you could call me old-fashioned, but I'm ready to settle down with someone worth settling down with. And the only way I guess for me to know if I like someone is if I get that feeling... we all know that feeling. The butterflies, the happiness, the quality in other words. And I'm not gonna lie it's been a while since that's gone on. If there's one thing I've learned over my 17 years is that I know what I like in a girl, and I guess when it comes down to it besides obvious physical attraction it comes down to heart. I would like someone that is actually as interested in me as I am in them, it's nice to know I'm worth pursuing. I want a girl that's independent also... I can't fix her life also and work on mine at the same time. I can't handle that. She needs to have her priorities in order because I'm not gonna lie mine have changed and there are certain things that I'm not down for. She also needs to be able to live without me, but want to be with me I guess if that makes sense. It takes two for a relationship and I can't hold up another person along with myself and try to be a good partner at the same time. It's just too much. She's also just gotta love people. That's big, that heart for others is attractive and I love it. I guess I'm sorta pickyish, but you get that way when you've been hurt before. Regardless, it's not in my hands, I guess I'll know her when I see her? Hopefully?

Anyways I'm super tired, and I need to sleep some this break, and catch up with some ol' buds. I miss people I used to be tight with, it sucks how stuff changes but it's the way of the world. Things come and go with the seasons.

"And to Adam he said, 'Because you listened to your wife and ate the fruit I told you not to eat, I have placed a curse on the ground. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains. All your life you will sweat to produce food, until your dying day. Then you will return to the ground from which you came. For you were made from dust, and to the dust you will return.'"

Genesis 3:17-19

If you ever wanted to know why the world is the way it is or why life is so hard... above is the answer. It sucks that man had to fall.

It's wonderful how beautiful the word of God is though. I never knew I'd learn so much from such an old book.

Keep The Peace

"It's crazy how such a horrible world can have such beautiful people."

Keep The Peace

Whadda Day!

Where to begin is the question...

Today was one of those days where I was reminded of the simple things and how truly lovely they really are. For so long all I've wanted to do was beat TJ in soccer and tonight was Stone Bridge's night! To someone else this could sound totally absurd and minimal compared to winning regionals or something, but tonight was seriously on that level. It's funny cause it just reminded me of how awesome these moments are in life, and if I could I'd hold onto this feeling forever. Again... I just want to reiterate how wonderful Angela Hopgood is. Today was her birthday and all I wanted to get this great individual was a win, and I'm so happy we could do it guys. Angela you are inspiring whether you know it or not, and I just want you to know that you are loved greatly and you're an amazing person. Kathryn Delaney... You make my world that much sunnier no lie. And I love you lots. You're a true friend to me and always have been and I cherish our friendship best bud, I pray for you and your future that it will be filled with happiness because you deserve nothing less. Thanks for caring about me you two :). I also made a new friend today, and it's so amazing because it was just cool to reach out and be the catalyst. People are truly awesome. The fact that we are all different still blows my mind. I love just listening and learning about people. We all deserve to be heard, and to be loved and I just want to let you all know that I love you guys and appreciate everyone of you that I've interacted with. You all influence and fuel me to be the person I am, I wouldn't be able to be me without support and I'm truly grateful for you all. Well I'm gonna stop before I get too sappy and emotional, but hey... if you're not already... SMILE :). LIFE IS WONDERFUL!!!! let's never forget this and make a positive difference my brothers and sisters.

To my SB brothers: you all deserve it more than anything... hard work pays off. Our blood, sweat, and tears were not paid in vain on this night and I'm so proud of all of you. You've given me a sense of family and belonging on this team and it's something I'll never forget. This is what team is all about, and I'm glad we've been able to come together so positively and do work for SB. I love all you guys.

Keep The Peace

Thank You!

Well I've gotten some positive comments from good friends about this blog recently and I just want to say thank you for all those that read it. Even if you don't agree with what I say or if you even think this is all sorta stupid to be posting on the internet... Thanks for taking some time out of your day to read this.

While I'm on the track of thank yous I just want to throw some more out there that I've been feeling, becuase I'm really thankful for a lot of things and why box this all up for next thanksgiving when I can throw it down right now ya digg? Bear(sp) with me this could turn into a long list, but hopefully I'll have something profound to say at the end ;)

First and foremost thank you GOD... for grabbing a hold of my heart and changing me, inspiring me, and molding me into a better me. The way you work, the things you do, and the love you bring is awesome, and I'm glad I've had the chance to get to know you. You've blessed me with so much and I do understand that with to whom much is given, much is expected and I'm gonna try to do my best to be a positive light on this world. :)

2. I just want to thank my parents... for everything. I love them soo much and they've done soo much for me, I honestly couldn't ask for better parents.

3. I want to thank my friends... You all know who you are and you've all been such a great influence on me. I thank all of you guys for investing your words and your time into me.

4. I want to thank all those who have forgiven me... and all those who I've wronged I just want to say I'm sorry. I hope that you've forgiven me and honestly I just want to be happy and see you happy, and conflict isn't the good stuff ya digz?

5. I'm really thankful for light, whether it be from the sun or just the actual light in the world. I've made a decision that I'm putting on my sunny glasses forever, (looking on the bright side) and honestly it's a much better view through these bad boys (wayfarers). I'm trying to make a better effort to really focus on the good, because regardless of how much something hurts, resistance is what builds strength, and nothing is impossible.

6. And lastly I'm just thankful for the opportunity I've been given to live where I live. I know we've all heard this a million times but my buddy Jordon brought up a good point to me this past friday, he said that pretty much we live in one of the richest parts of the world, since we live in the richest county in the USA and standard of living wise, the US is for the most part #1.

He brought up the point that his parents would possibly be getting him a car, and the fact that he's so thankful that his family's finances in a time like this could afford such a big step like that. This really brought even more attention for me to what we take for granted on daily basis. The simple necessities that many people around the world don't even have access to, yet our tough decisions have turned into what handbag do we want to buy or how expensive our shoes are. People are wandering this earth without parents, without food, without love. There are homeless people who walk the streets of areas around us, regardless of how they got to where they are they are people also, right?

I saw this video in church today and it was one of those short clips talking about this stuff, and it really hit me... one of the quotes was "Who are we to walk past a homeless person on the street and not give anything to them because we've already made up in our minds that they're going to spend it on booz or cigarettes." Who am I to judge them, or you, or anyone? I forget this everyday honestly, I was fortunate enough to have been born in this area and to have the things that I have, yet I don't want to be the one that takes it for granted and just says I'm the lucky one so it sucks for everyone else. And the video also said, "How is it fair that we can sit at home in the comfort of our living room and watch a television and pity those who were unfortunate to be in the area where the water rose, or the storm hit and then leave it at that and change the channel?" Who are we to be these people and not help? I dunno about you but this stuff hits my heart, because regardless of whatever political genius,prodigy, or guru you are, to a certain degree we should all be socialists... We should all give to those who aren't fortunate enough to have what we have.

Why you ask? Because I have way tooooo much! And how much brighter would this world be if it wasn't about me all the time? I'm not cool enough nor wealthy enough to change this place on my own, but why can't I do my part to brighten someone's day? Why is that such a burden to all of us who have been given soo much? What if that dollar I would've given to the poor man on the street could have bought him his next two ramen meals? What if I could've been that guy to change his view on the world, what if we could've been that light? To be honest with you, there's nothing stopping us from being that light, and I think whatever I end up doing once I get out of college is gonna be something that confronts this problem. There's something within me that's calling me to give, and that's what I'm gonna do.

Smiles are powerful, and I stick to my guns.

The End.

p.s. This all may sound super hypocritical, and I'm not gonna lie by saying I don't splurge money and other resources on myself. But at the same time I know I can do more, and that's what's changing in me. I believe that I can make a difference, and that's where I'm coming from.

RUDE

I think I'm a pretty happy guy in general, but today I was reminded at the chorus concert that there is nothing that irks my nerves more than rude people. I love music, especially chorus since it's something I can't do well at all and I respect those who sing a lot. I get sooooooooo annoyed when people deliberately talk or make odd noises while the performances are going. How old are we? for real can't we get past whatever stupid impulse that is going through your body making you want to act inconsiderate? That pisses me off to know end to the point where i was seriously getting angry. I'm one of those kids that doesn't really cry, but when I do cry it's usually cause I'm so pissed off or dissapointed at people. I was getting to that point today ladies and gentleman, and as i thought about how rude it was to be making that much noise while someone out there is trying to watch their kid perform I realized that there's only a few kinds of people out there, and this type is one I'm starting to see more and more often now. Just the general neglect for another person, and it's interesting because I don't feel bad for the one on stage who is getting interrupted, I really just feel bad for that person that has not enough self-respect to control themselves for a minute and is instead attracting all the negative attention to themselves without even really understanding that they are being seen in a derogatory light because of there actions. That's just me though... this is something I'd like to change in the world if I had magic powers. I guess for now I'll do my best to try to lead by example.

Besides that I'm just tired I guess. This isn't much of a blog post it's more of a rant than anything and I'm sorry if you're reading this in utter disgust but this week has been a little rough for me. Just because I haven't really had much time for myself. As selfish as that sounds sometimes you just gotta get some time for you, to do something you love, to have some fun on your own terms. I haven't had that once this whole week, I've been running back and forth from school, showering and changing, going to concerts, games, 2nd practices for soccer.... just too much to the point where I'm not enjoying the moments anymore cause I'm just worrying about what I have to do later or the next day. If this is a teezer of what being a grown up in the real world is about then honestly I'm really not interested. Fun is crucial in my life and I really need to have a reunion with my dervish and get back to cruising my stress away. That's when I'm at my best. No worries, just crosstepping my way around my life and gliding through or over the next obstacle with grace. That's what I'm about right now.

Keep The Peace

p.s.- Alison Lewis.. I'm sorry your cookies were late today but I just want to dedicate this post to you and your straight hair because you looked very prettyful :)

What's Easy...

-Driving to School
-Calling a friend
-Talking about others
-Drinking some water
-Sharing experiences
-Loving a lover
-Singing your favorite song
-Enjoying the weather
-GIVING!

I've really gotten into K'naan lately and every once in awhile the music of Africa, Jamaica, etc. really hits me in the heart. These places still struggle with hurt, corruption, and poverty. These very things on this list plus many more we take for granted every day. I want to give to those who need it. I need to give to those who need it. Why? Are we not all humans living under the same moon, the same sky, the same sun? Do we not all deserve a chance to live, to be free, to be equal and most of all respected? Some things get personal for me and this is where I'm at, there are certain things that I don't like to see or here about and one of them is how we as a nation seem to neglect the situation in these areas whether it be a country in Africa, a poor providence in Vietnam, I don't care. All politics boils down to be is which selfish person can win the right to make decisions on behalf of a group of people, and whenever someone comes into office that's trying to do something right all of a sudden our same money that we were down with spending on helping the roads out or building that next community pool is now too good to use to give aid to our brothers and sisters in these areas just because they're not fortunate enough to have oil (insert other compensation here) to give us back in return? It is our responsibility as humans to pick eachother up, and I'm gonna start trying to make a real effort to give as much as possible. It makes me sick to know that the United Nations spectated while genocide occured in Rwanda. Yea... maybe they're just a bunch of black people... none the less PEOPLE... someone's son, someone's daughter, someone's mother, someone's father. Let's step it up together shall we?

Keep The Peace

ps. this song fired me up to write this



"I got circumstances, but let me stop dancin' around the issue
And tell you straight forward, I'm poor
A refugee, been in prison and survived the war
I come from the most dangerous city in this universe
You're likely to get shot at birth!...

So how can rap quench my thirst?
I don't even hear verses no more
I hear jerkin' off, punks with lip glosses and purses
I don't see nobody I can reach anymore
I see nurses, fuck that!,I'm gonna stay alive! I'd rather do a stage dive!"

Habits

I've been thinking this week about my daily routine and a lot about how I act. I've cursed a couple times within the past few days and I just don't like it. I dunno like everytime I curse I just feel bad. Thinking about cursing and how it made me feel snowballed into me thinking about how cursing came along in my life, and to be honest I don't even know. Habits I find to be sooo crazy cause they are super easy to make yet super hard to break. I've been biting my nails for years now and I can't quit just, because it's got this almost mental hold on me. I've started to become very aware of certain habits because they hold me back from change... good change. Why are good habits so much harder to establish than bad habits? Why is it easier to just skip the homework for the rest of my life instead of actually doing it? After getting to this point I realized it comes down to a couple simple things: work, effort, and heart. For me it is those 3 things that keep me going to where I want to be, but for you it could be a different combination of things.

I've noticed to break bad habits it takes 100 percent commitment. Since they seem to be carved deeper into our way of life than other habits it just makes it that much harder to do. I'm not trying to make this personal, but say you or I really had trouble with treating others with respect... how hard is it to treat a woman with respect when society is telling you otherwise many times a day through many different outlets? I'm not gonna lie it gets tough, and I've noticed that this applies in any area. Whenever I really want to do something productive or right, society seems to always be telling me otherwise. Why waste time doing that when everyone else is doing this. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a life that is contrary to this world, and that's when I realize that my life is contrary to what this world preaches to me. What has this world really done for me? I feel like it has only created a false image of satisfaction, passion, love, success etc. When was money the main language that defined someone's success? When was love ever determined by how big a ring is, or what color eyes someone has, or what your fracking horoscope said would happen today? What happened to honesty? Yea I'm asking a lot of questions and maybe you think I'm stupid but I think I just want to challenge some people today to think a little bit. What is truly real to you, and is the joy it brings something that really lasts? I feel like I could go a lot farther with this to the point where it'd become a religious thing, but I'm not gonna go there right now.

On the other hand, SB Varsity Soccer won 3-1 today in our first scrimmage against Lake Braddock! Special thanks to Danny boy for the most amazingest goal I've ever seen and August Spencer for letting me borrow his extra short sleeve jersey.

I also just want to say I love Paige and Kathryn, you two people are awesome :)




Keep The Peace

Watch DJ AM & LMFAO - LMFAOOOOOO - LIVE @ LAX 11.23.2008 in Electronic  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com


This video right here is why I mix music...

It is not by any means the best set a DJ has ever spun but the electricity and magic that was made by my man DJ AM is just wild.

There's nothing better than a dance party, and having the ability to take your audience on a journey is a privilege and a skill handcrafted after countless hours of practice.

I love music :)

R.I.P. DJ AM

Today I got asked why I blog and I think I said something around the idea of being able to share my thoughts, photos, etc in a way that was creative. But really I think the reason I do it is to inspire. Honestly it's not about me showing how cool I can make something simple sound, or how awesome my pictures are, but my true intentions are to really just hopefully spark some nerve in your brain that will make you think about something. And I really want that something to be positive, or maybe just something you never thought about before. Maybe you don't even really know me and you're reading this right now. Honestly that would make my day, and I just want to let you know that I love you, along with the many other people of this world.

The origin of true happiness in this world comes from the inside. Within each and every one of us there is a unique human being that was handcrafted by a power beyond our imagination. As human beings we have been given the gift of free will so that we may experience true love and live a life more abundant upon this earth. I have made a commitment to myself and my God to try to be the best I can be. And that's it, I'm trying to become a man of no excuses. That's one thing I really hate that holds me back from really reaching others I think is just the excuses I make for myself. I think one day we all have to wake up from this luxorious dream called life and really take a second to evaluate what it's worth. When I die, my wealth, knowledge, expenditures, etc. don't come with me. And I'm sorry if that offends anyone but hey, is it not true? I think most of all I just want to be held accountable, that's really what I need to become the person I want to be. No excuses, just a better form of myself. As I walk with the creator of this earth, I'm slowly beginning to understand what I was intended for, and what true love really is. It's hard to explain but I just want to say that I'm so thankful for all the good and bad things that have happend throughout my life, all the people, the multitudes of success and failure that have slowly pushed myself to this point. All I can do is give thanks, because I couldn't have made it this far on my own, and the glory is all his.

If you made it this far I just want to congratulate you because I probably would not have read this much, and if you ever wanna talk with me or something then leave a comment, I'm always itching for some good conversation.

Keep the Peace...

Angela

Today is one of those days where I just need to let someone know I love them. And today that person (besides Reed Sullivan) is Angela Hopgood.

Throughout my wonderful days many times people just cross my mind... and I'm sure this happens to you also but today it was different. Angela is a manager for the varsity soccer team at SB in case you didn't know and she is super great at what she does. She works so hard and she loves us all and really cares about the team and its overall success. Today she wasn't at morning practice which sorta made me sad, but at the same time reminded me of all the great work she's done and the great person she really is. If you're reading this I'm guessing you know Angela a little bit, but if you don't then man up a little bit and start a conversation with her. I missed practice one day and she was the only person that reminded me in the morning to make sure I was there the next day, which isn't really a big deal you could say but really in a world so large it's the little things that make a difference. Angela, thanks so much for being you, and I just want to let you know that I see the things you do and it's people like you that simply make the world a brighter place.

SOCCCCCCCCER!!!!

-Mervyn