Beach Day

Today I really just don't know what to say. My trip to Myrtle Beach for the infamous "beach week" really was eye opening, but to be honest I'm somewhat glad I attended because I learned a lot. In an environment like that you really can get a good glance at who people are. I figured out that many people I call "friends" in my life are truly like engine oil that you use in your car. Depending on the type it can either help you out or just slow you down. By the time you realize you have the wrong oil/friends sometimes your car is already breaking down. Either way, it doesn't last for long cause regardless the oil gets used up and then replaced by new oil to keep your car running fresh. Sadly, that's just how it is. Down there I realized that, and it was truly shocking, but at the same time I'm okay with it. Because though friends can be a very beneficial thing in your life, they ultimately don't make you who you are. Friends don't make choices for you, friends aren't the ones getting grades for you in school, friends aren't the ones that have to answer to your parents, friends aren't the ones that created you nor do they sometimes ever really know you. It just makes me sad to think that so many kids are worried about who they're around instead of themselves, to the point of where they'd lay down their dreams and their goals. I don't understand... and you know what maybe I'm being a little critical, or a little naive, but you know what, people can't even speak to eachother correctly these days cause everything has to be sugar coated with an lol or a smiley face and it makes me sick.

Today I'm tired, and to be honest I like the tired Egey better because he doesn't waste energy on stuff that really doesn't matter. When I'm tired I really don't care how I look, or if there's a spider in my house, or if my clothes are matching or whatever. When I'm tired and I'm down it starts becoming about survival, it becomes about me, and yea maybe that's selfish but sometimes ya just gotta do stuff for you. Sometimes you have to make up your mind and be a little different. I'm sick of getting pestered about the choices I make and how I'm not a big dawg cause I'm not smoking weed or how I'm missing out on the "party" cause I'm not walking around drunk or how I can't possibly be having any fun cause I worry about those who are beligerent instead of just making sure I'm having a good time, or how I'm leaving beach week and going back to boring ol' ashburn yada yada yada. I'm sorry people, but I don't care! And if your idea of fun is let's all go get drunk enough so that every girl here can get taken advantage of and every guy is stumbling around to the point of where they're hurting themselves then I won't ever be having fun so you might as well just not get to know me ya dig? I'm sick of being judged and I'm sick of the lies to be honest. It's like smoking cigarettes... why in the flipping world would you ever smoke cigarettes? Everyone knows what's gonna happen to you, everyone knows it causes cancer, everyone knows it smells bad and it's unattractive, yet people STILL smoke cigarrettes... WHY!!?? That's how I feel about a lot of stuff today and that's probably how God feels about us on this earth sometimes. It's tough being on the outside and looking in at a bunch of beautiful people with so much potential just throwing themselves away. It's tough seeing people you've known for over 4 years just turn into animals. It hurts knowing that these people think they have friends, but when their life is on the line, their "friends" aren't even in a sober enough state themselves to understand the situation and do what's right. I've realized that people that truly care are few and far between in this world. Lots of people just settle for the trash because it's too much work to think that there is otherwise out there. Regardless if there is or not I've decided I'm gonna look for something greater, because what I saw down in Myrtle Beach was not in any way shape of form what Egey Levy is about. And if you're gonna read this and get bitter cause this is what I'm saying and get all sassy and call me a little bitch then so be it. Start whatever rumors you want, say what you want to say, but if you're gonna do it, at least be man enough to come say it to my face. I'm done trying to be okay with this, and I'm done being the innocent bystander. I'm moving on to the college of my dreams in 2 months and I don't NEED you, nor do I have the time for the BS so just save it.

Ya know, I'd like to think that there's some positive stuff I'd like to do in this world and though not too long ago I was a little bummed about leaving this all behind, I'm ready to step out and stand on my own. I'm ready to be the man I've wanted to grow into. I'm ready to do great things. And every journey starts with a choice. Well I've made my choice, I've seen the fork in the road, and I've chosen wisely and I'm not going back either. I'm a new man now and I'm happy.

"If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything." Sorry people, but I've found my feet today and I'm not going down.

Keep The Peace