Today was a nothing day. Probably the best nothing day I've had in awhile. I had a lot of time to focus, to think, and to evaluate. I took a quality nap. I took pictures for the first time in awhile and I edited them. Today's one of the first days in awhile where I haven't felt dissapointed in myself or lacking of anything. I don't really know how to describe that feeling, but I think the closest thing it feels like is safety. Like you're in your jams and your warmest blanket with the people closest to you. But you're actually by yourself. Usually I'm always feeling like I need to be doing things or hanging out with people or making plans to feel satisfied or happy. Today I didn't really do any of that. I didn't hang out with anyone. I spoke more words in class today than I did outside of class I think. But this is the best I've felt in a long time. It's funny how I'm happy when I don't try to be. When I'm not worrying and I'm giving myself quiet so God can speak to me. When I'm alone and focused on what's right. Nothing feels better than that.
I don't expect anyone to really get this. It doesn't really make sense at all. I read on Heather's blog not too long ago where she had a quote that said, "Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers." It's pretty funny cause my life doesn't even make sense to me most times. But that in itself is beautiful. Maybe this is what it feels like to live a more abandoned life for God? It's pretty exciting although it doesn't sound that way. Eff... I'm happy.
"I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."
-Jeremiah 17:10
Keep The Peaceahhhhh
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