Post-it

I think I'm going to go on a post-it note campaign. I think I'm just gonna write some nice stuff on them and stick them places, just to make people smile ya know? Like how cool would it be to see a post-it note on an ATM that just says have a good day with a smiley face. I would dig that. Thoughts, comments, and suggestions are welcome :)

Keep The Peace

I just want an education.

So I've been here for a week now. Pitt that is. I don't know how I feel about it right now. Sometimes I'm really having a lot of fun. Other times I'm really just tired and annoyed and dissapointed. I think what really hurts me about this whole thing is that no one seems real. No one stands up for anything. No one seems to believe that there's something greater than this moment, whatever it may be. I wish I could just look into these people's hearts and just see with my own eyes what they really want, what they're really looking for. Everyone seems to fill whatever void that they have within their hearts with alcohol, sex, drugs, or just trashy language and attitudes. I can't understand. Why do we HAVE to find a party tonight? Why does it matter if there's alcohol or not? I just can't wait 'til I'm old enough where alcohol isn't a part of daily discussion. I really just miss good people. People that were content with just being themselves. I miss the pursuit of Love. Not the pursuit of happiness, cause what is happiness? Happiness is so clouded these days. I just want some stability.

I guess I'm going to have to invest in some nose plugs now... Nothing like the smell of weed at 1:40 AM on a Sunday morning -_-. Who are these people? And what are they looking for? Who are they trying to impress? What does their past look like? I'm lost. Thank the Lord for Hillsong United. The only way I can get away is just to drift higher in worship. Alone in my compact double dorm I find myself blasting Christian music to drown out the nonsense. Yes, that's my college experience right now, is that a problem? If you're new and reading this, feel free to judge me, because this is who I am. I am nothing without God. His presence is made known even in the most poopiest of situations. He is the God forever and ever. He is magnificent, beautiful, His grace, oh his grace! I don't know if I'm homesick, or just God sick. I miss the church. I miss my FE family!

Being away from home this one week has taught me a lot about young people. I've noticed that at this stage of our lives, so many of us just cling to this concept of acception. This idea of being a part of something. Being identified through an organization, whether it be a group of friends, a frat, a party scene, a club etc. So many of use are just fighting to belong when I've realized that I just wasn't meant to fit. God didn't cut me into a square when he molded my body from his heavenly clay. I was made to stick out in this world. I was made to make people think. I was made to challenge the world to open their eyes. I was made to shine my light wherever I go. I have been called. This is where I belong, and I WILL overcome. I WILL make a difference. I WILL be a positive impact upon my peers. Because God has called me to be somebody. To identify myself with Him and His kingdom. It's beautiful. So I am not ashamed to be here, to be me, to be alive.

Sometimes you just have to see yourself through. When i get discouraged I just have to take the time to remember that I'm not alone. God is with me and I should not be afraid. Because he loves me. He loves me for me. He doesn't love me for my looks or for my abilities. He just loves. Isn't that what we all want? Why can't people see? Why can't people see thaty they're hurting themselves? Why can't people see that they're giving their lives away? Why can't people see? Why? It hurts my heart, but here I am. I press on towards the prize that God has reserved for me in Christ Jesus. I don't know what He has in store, but I know that the Lord IS good.

I miss all of you at home. I miss my family and my friends. I miss my church. I miss my home. But I'm determined to take a stand. God will give me strength I know it. I'm sorry but I just had to see myself through this one. The more I write the more confident I get. You have to push yourself in this world. You have to make a decision and be discipline. You have to take care of business. I'm on my own now, and He is all I got, and all I need.

"I'm found in the arms of Love.
For your Love it has saved my soul.
I'll run to your arms of Love.
Your light's gonna lead me home."

Keep The Peace

http://tommykim.wordpress.com/2010/08/27/love-is-patient-and-kind/

Read that. Tommy is right on.

Hail To Pitt

Well... I'm at college now. These past 3 days have been pretty interesting to say the least. I've never seen so many young adults in my life. It's cool just meeting people and doing stuff on your own. The responsiblity factor just sorta skyrocketed for me. Picking classes was a nightmare. Today is pretty much the last day to pick classes so obviously my choices were slim. It sorta sucks but ehh.. you get over it. I hit up a frat party last night with some kids I met. I'm not gonna lie, it was bumpin but it's just sorta hilarious how much it is like TV. I was catching the bus back to my dorm and I ran into these 3 drunk upperclassmen girls who were waiting for a ride too. Beautiful people. It's crazy how this world is. I feel like they're gonna be awesome parents but it seems like they're just trying to get the most out of their youth. Party it up woooooot!!! It's whatever. To be honest it's pretty cool here though. The food is decent, the people are nice and there's stuff to do. The first night I figured out how crucial having ear plugs is. Not being able to sleep because of partiers in the streets is pretty lame. Hopefully I'll be able to hook up a DJ gig sometime soon and make some money. I feel like my skills could definitely be used.

My roommate is an internation chinese student. He speaks english but it's really slow sometimes so it's hard to be patient with him because 2 minute conversations take 15. He's a nice guy though, he gave me a fan for a roommate present. I was reading the bible before I went to bed and he asked what I was reading and when I told him he was puzzled. I figured out that he had never heard of the bible before and he doesn't really have a grasp around religion. He kept referring to it as like Western culture or something like that. It seems like it was just a class for him or something and that's all he knows about it. It's crazy how blessed we are to be free in this country. He says in China they can't watch cartoons after age 9 or something like that, and he said that he just found power rangers on the internet and thinks they're cool. It's wild how the world works in certain places. I just pray that he'll get the most out of his experience here. He seems like a good kid.

I was reading from the book of Isaiah last night and I came across something I read before that I underlined.

"Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins! But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all."
Isaiah 53:4-6

The word of God is just beautiful. The sacrifice is even more beautiful. As I meet new people and just sort of see how different everyone is and how much they try to impress other people, certain things within me remain the same. God is Lord Almighty, and I trust Him and His plan for me more than anything in this world. School's gonna be tough at times, but I know He'll get me through. I hope everyone's having an awesome time at school and I just want you all to have fun and stay safe!

Keep The Peace

last night

This is it. My room looks like crap and around tomorrow at this time I will be asleep waiting for Monday morning to come so I can move in. Goodbyes/see you laters are so sour. I'm finally feeling like this is all happening. I wish I could put this feeling into words, but I just can't. I'm gonna miss kath and paige so much, you two are awesome people and I love you guys. JD, you da man also and you WILL be visiting me. Besides that this is just a tough feeling. I just hope I don't forget anything and I pray that the transition will go as smoothly as possible. I also hope my roommate isn't a shmuck but that's besides the point. I guess it's time to start the rest of my life... I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes and update with some burgh pics. I love all you that read and talk to me, you guys make me me.

Keep The Peace

3 days.

Living never stops. Life is pretty wild if you ask me. We were born as beings that naturally functioned and now we have grown into these complex humans with feelings and responsibilities etc. Sometimes I wish life just stayed a little flat for a bit. I feel like just as I'm catching my breath I'm hitting the next drop or loop in the roller coaster. There's just a lot going on ya know?

Money.Sucks.A.Lot.

I wish money didn't make or break dreams... make or break families. Money is such a factor when it really shouldn't be. 3 days from now it'll all be different. I reminisce on all those who have invested into my future and I just want to say that I'm gonna try my best to be successful no matter what. So many people have just spoken success and victory into my life to a point where I truly believe I can't lose unless I let myself. It's gotten to the point where I'm really going to be put to the test. These next 4 years are all on me now, and it's crazy to think that I'm ready for that. Shucks I'm only 17. I'm not stressin, just thinking.

More than anything I'm just going to miss my family. My family are the types of people that are ALWAYS there for me and ALWAYS understanding. I'm gonna miss sitting at the counter for a couple hours after dinner just chatting. Real talk. Small talk. I'm gonna miss not being around a loud group of friends and peers and just listening to my house. My home. Life's changing before my eyes, almost as if the floor's just coming out from under me. My closet looks naked. It's just a lot that's all.

I really hope things turn out alright. I just pray for stability during times like these. God does everything for a reason, and has never forsaken me. When I start to think like this I guess it's best to just re-realize that I'm not in control. Now's the time to let my light shine and live just like I did in the womb. Time to use my natural instincts to keep myself alive. In 3 days the beginning of the rest of my life will commence. I think I'm just about ready :)

M

I just received the most awesomest going away letter from this one girl that knows who she is. I really just wanna say that even though we didn't get to hang out that often, I'm so glad we're friends. Your words really brought tears to my eyes and it's really awesome thinking that what I say and what I believe really means something to other people. When it comes down to it, that's what life is about right? How we go about loving others and caring for each other. When we die we can't take our money or our cars or clothes, but our legacy lives on through those we have touched on this Earth. I hope sometime we get to hang out more, maybe when we both get back on break? I feel like we could have some awesome conversations. It's a blessing having someone like you in my life and I'm just truly honored to know that I've been indirectly able to positively influence you and the way you see things around you. Anyways good luck at school and I'll be sure to take a class with you and LT (right?) when I get back ;)

Mervyn

We. Are. Your Friends.

This song by Justice is just soooo gosh darn groovy. I feel like I'm slowly becoming a hipster when it comes to music. Something about EDM and hard hitting remixes just make me wanna jump. I've fallen in love with bass and there's no feeling like dancing and just waiting for that beat to drop! Beind a DJ and having control over the mood of a party is so awesome. Having the power to make people scream is pretty sick too. I love music so much.

Anyways moving on... this song We Are Your Friends really just sums up how I feel right now. The only lyrics are "Because We. Are. Your Friends. You, will never be alone again so come on... so come one... so come on..." That's just how I have to look at this transition period in my life. The goodbyes and the cries are just so surreal to me right now. I can't say bye to these people, it's only see you later. To be honest I just want to go to another prom right now. See all the beautiful faces and just jam to Move Your Feet just one more time. Regardless of how we've all changed I still love these people.

There's just something magical about life and time. It's crazy how we put a limit on time but in reality time never stops. It's a cycle. Things come and they go but eternally nothing ever really changes. It's just all a part of what makes up the world. The ebb and flow of life. As we press on to new goals and dreams I just hope one day that the world will bring me back to a place where I can see some familiar faces once more and just marvel at how far we've come, at how much we've grown. I hope one day that this closing time will be a cherished memory, and that everyone will be able to find whatever they're seeking. I think more than anything I just want to make people dance. I love mixing music and I'm really starting to get into it more than ever before. I hope all of you that read this find something if you haven't already that you love to do, and I just pray that you'll be bold enough to share that light with others. People get inspired by the most simplest things you know? Dare to be yourself, dare to dream. Let's keep in touch people :)

This is my latest piece of art I've released. If you're into electro, hip hop, house, and groovy stuff in general I think you'll like it.
Electro Smile by Dj Jango

Keep The Peace

Regardless of whatever you think is wrong today... I'm gonna tell you that TODAY IS A GOOD DAY! You are ALIVE and you are reading this post. If you're sad I'm here to tell you that I care about you and that life is too short to dwell on the unfortunate things it throws at us. Let's all have hope and put a smile on please :)))))))

1 Corinthians 13:12

"All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."

I think this verse is going to be relavent for me during the next 40+ years 'til I hopefully retire. This pretty much sums up my relationship with God and with myself. It's weird to think about but every single one of us has a relationship sort of with ourselves. When we look upon our actions and think about what we're doing and what we've done and the past it's almost like looking from the outside in on your own life. You sort of develop your own outside opinion about yourself. Sometimes I get so distracted by my own opinion of myself that I forget that God loves me and I've been called to be the best man I can be. And what's awesome is that every day is an adventure. The lord tells us that our knowledge is incomplete compared to God's full understanding of all life. But someday I will be made perfect in God's eyes and I will be able to see things in a complete and full manner. The Lord is exciting 8)

Keep The Peace

Ellen Page

So I watched Whip It a few days ago along with her latest movie Inception not too long ago and both were awesome. I pretty much fell in love with this girl ever since Juno came out and I just think she'd be super cool to chill with. I like how cavalier she seems to be about a lot of things. She's really down to earth and I dig that. Pretty much if I ever see her on the street I'm asking for a date which will soon lead to our life-long marriage.

ThEnd

August 7th

It's been awhile since I've posted something. Mostly because I've just been busy working and such but I've also spent a lot of my chill time just thinking a little bit and I think I've finally worked my brain enough to find out something worth posting.

First of all I'd just like to say thanks to everyone who reads this. My blog has changed a lot in 66 posts. Honestly when I started writing this I really wanted to tell people a lot of things and sort of lead them into my mind. Now when I write it's more about making sense of how I think and the things that mean something to me. Sometimes writing is the only way I can make any sense of whatever mess I've been snowballing in my mind and it just helps to bring me back down to Earth. I hope whoever reads my blog will take it as an account of a young man who is learning just like any other guy. I'm not in the business of teaching, but I hope that maybe the words I choose will hopefully challenge you to look within yourself and figure out who YOU are. If that's all that happens then I'd consider this blog more than successful.

Anyways, this week has been long and somewhat uneventful. Weeks like these lead me to a lot of analyzation and something that kept coming back and forth within my head is the mind and how it works. As I thought about my life and my problems I started to notice how much my mind has played a role in all my dilemmas. Many times this is manifested in me worrying or just getting frustrated with myself. Out of all these instances I've started to take notice in how I've thought these things through. I realized that many of the obstacles I face are only obstacles because I give them the authority to obstruct my life. For example, just because I'm not a genius in math or science, doesn't mean I'll never have a job that uses one of those fields. Regardless I still minimze the potential for success for myself because of how I compare myself to the world's criteria for success. This conflict between my actual ability along with how the world sees my traits creates a gap which in turn makes me feel irrelevant or insufficient.

After figuring this out I started to realize that this is how the world trains us to think. Despite of how complex we think our lives are, the world has taught us to analyze and view events in a very simple matter. Every action we see we dumb it down to a simple cause and effect. For example, the death of Michael Jackson. Well reporters say the combination of drugs he was using caused him to die, but maybe it was really the fact that his childhood was so obscure and his father put so much pressure on him that it caused him to start using or abusing drugs which led to his death. Many times in situations we only see the cause and effects instead of the why. If we don't look at the why then what makes anything we do worth anything?

The why part of my life is crucial and has led me to believe that how we are taught to live in this world isn't right. I truly believe that, "Mo money mo problems" yet people will kill for money. Why is an excess of money such an influential factor within our lives? It's because everything the world tells us defines success as a monetary value. We use our minds to dumb ourselves down to thinking that money defines our success as human beings so we chase it. This may not be money, for someone else it could be their looks, or their occupation etc. We trick ourselves into thinking instead of believing and I've found that to be very dangerous. You can just hear how those words are different. There's a big difference between, "I think I deserve this job," and "I believe I deserve this job". We get so caught up in trying to figure out how something happened instead of seeing that we are the only ones that put ourselves into this box in the first place.

I'm slowly starting to realize that every situation has a positive and negative response available sorta like in the Matrix where Neo could choose between the blue and red pills. Life is the same way. We have a choice only as long as we believe it to be a choice. Every word you say and every step you take is a choice. Even the way you think and your views of the world are yours and yours alone. As we join society it sometimes seems that our minds get in the way of our dreams. When you fall in love you know it. You don't have to see a checklist and make sure it's all filled out and you don't need a freaking dictionary to define your feelings for that person. Love has no boundaries, no walls erected around the perimeter to keep it enclosed. Love just flows. Why can't life be the same? The reason why is because we don't let ourselves believe. We overthink our situations so much that we rationalize in our mind certain outcomes which just leads us to doing things we never really wanted to do in the first place. Sometimes I just need to cut the crap and do what I know I want. Be the person I know I want to be. Make the decisions I believe are right and even if they're not, I know I'm not a failure. That is really important.

If the best this world can give me is fame and fortune then I don't want anything to do with it. If the epitome of being a mortal is splurging money that could be used to feed starving children then I don't want anything to do with it. For too long has my vision been impaired by false hope. I need to believe there is something more for me out there. I can't allow myself to think that this cycle of life is worthless. Money and fame isn't enough to keep me here, so I've chosen to believe that my calling is greater. Until I figure out what that is I think I'll just take this time to be quiet and listen. Our calling is out there for you and I alike. I just want to make sure that I'm not going to be the one that holds me back from whatever great things the Lord has in store for me.

This post was stupid long and I still don't think that my head is making complete sense. All I know is that the way I think is inhibiting me from believing in myself and my God. We are truly powerful beyond measure and we can only embrace this power if we believe it exists.

Keep The Peace