Change?

I feel like this is the first time this has ever happened to me where I can actually feel myself going through it, but I'm definitely changing. Is that weird? I dunno I just feel somewhat different about some stuff. I guess it's a good thing, but at the same time a big part of this change is letting go of a lot of clutter within my life. It's like cleaning out your closet, you take out the old and sketchy looking stuff so you can hopefully fill it up with some new and fresh threads that will give you a new swag. Either way I just find it interesting.

Keep The Peace

11

11 things that make me smile are as follows...

1) akward smiles {AL}

2)groovy songs

3)cheese or caramel popcorn

4)the bible

5)candid photographs

6)family dinners

7)my nana

8)icy hot

9)longboarding

10)controversial license plates

11)face to face conversation

11 things that make me frown are as follows...

1)the status quo

2) having my priorities chosen for me

3)curse words

4)lost friends

5)walking barefoot and stepping in that wet spot where someone let the ice cube melt

6)smudgy sunshades

7)sand in the shorts

8)people that refuse to dance (I was this guy)

9)textual communications

10)the "love game" (I just suck at it)

11)money

?

You know what I love more than anything right now????

Not knowing things.

Have you ever thought about how much time we spend just trying to figure things out? Shuffling through our minds trying to make sense of stuff that even if we knew what the origin was, would it really matter?

I am so happy right now it's rediculous! I love my life! I couldn't complain for a second and when it comes down to it I'm going to smile 'til the day I die. Why? Because I don't have to know all the answers. I don't have to understand people or the world anymore to feel satisfied with myself as a human. I don't have to have a girl by my side or a medal around my neck. I don't need this world anymore... You know how liberating that is!? It's truly wonderful. I've found who I am, what makes Egey tick and it's extraordinary, and it's simple.

Another thing on my mind that came up in conversation with some of my buds is the whole texting communication relationships junks. Why do we text? Why don't we call eachother up and speak like human beings and organize a time to meet face to face and talk? Why would it be assumed that if I called you right now and wanted to have lunch just to catch up or get to know you that I HAVE to be IN LOVE WITH YOU or INFATUATED or even sensually interested? I really wish that was different, and it's gotten to the point where I'm just done with it. I'm done playing love games. I just want it to be straightforward. I want to get to know you and I'd like to think I'm somwhat interesting enough that you'd like to ask me some questions and learn about me a little bit while we're at it. Is that too much to ask for these days? I guess so...

This is super crazy but if you actually read this whole thing and would like some elaboration on any of the above then just let me know and we'll have a quality conversation ;)

Keep The Peace

Egey's "New" New

This past weekend I was lucky enough to get invited on The Community Church's ski trip to Seven Springs. Upon first glance I was skeptical to see if I would fit in with the other people and make new friends. As the weekend progressed I really began to grow friendships with these new people through snowboarding, food, dorm life, and Christ. I have to admit this has been one of the best weekends of my life.

Sometimes you just gotta get away... Experience something new and totally different to really self-analyze. I've been spending a little time lately trying to figure out what ingredients really make Egey what Egey is, and how can I alter my recipe to make a better more wholesome Egey. What I realized what I was missing was some real friendship and companionship. This is no knock on all my buddies from Ashburn and in school, but there's nothing like being put in a situation where you are forced to meet new people and learn about them. I realized that the new friends I made are very unique and different, yet we all shared the same daily struggles. I realized that I'm not so odd or different after all, that I'm totally not out of my mind for making the choices that I make and being the person that I am.

I realized that there are things I will never understand. And I'm okay with it, I'm okay with walking a different path, because of the way it makes me feel. I'm starting to get off topic but overall this weekend was great and I love the new people I met. No better feeling than meeting new family and wondering where they've been all your life. Much love to my new FE brothers and sisters.

Keep The Peace

my happy

my happiness...
is beyond my reach.
It's a power I can't explain,
a love that feels unreal.

my happiness...
like wild flowers,
grows with each ray of sun,
energy, and positivity in life.

my happiness...
flows like a waterfall.
Yes it fluctuates,
but remains secure, strong.

my happiness...
is simple.
it's not invested on earth,
nor in a human being.

my happiness...
comes from the heart,
from within,
from inside.

my happiness...
will never yield,
will never fail,
will never stop.

seven pounds.

I watched Seven Pounds today.

If you haven't seen it I recommend you do, it's a quality drama that Will Smith really nails and today it was just what I needed. I like watching dramas when I'm alone cause I get sorta sappy and it could be embarrassing especially if my pop was around. One thing I learned from the movie is the meaning of sacrifice, and how hard people really have it out there in the world. Sitting in Ashburn driving the car I drive and being blessed with all the things I do have it's easy to forget "real life". Circumstances. Problems. People. Feelings. Struggle. Hurt.

It's rough out there, and it helped me remember that this whole thing called life is fragile and temporary. When we die all this stuff doesn't come with us you know? It's about the legacy, the lessons, the knowledge you leave. It's about experiencing the experience, being. I underestimate life's value sometimes. A couple weeks ago my dad was helping my sister with a relationship situation and he totally flipped the situation so that the whole family could understand where the opposite party could be coming from and it made a lot of sense after we dug past the surface of the conflict. Afterwards I told him, "Dad, I hope one day I'm as wise as you." He responded by saying, "I pray for wisdom everyday. I don't pray for money, knowledge, or even health. I just pray that I can use all the circumstances and environments I've experienced in life to possibly help others."

That's the type of person I wanna be.

Keep the Peace

music and politics

Well I was just thinking about music and it hit me today that music is a lot like politics and it makes a lot of sense. Mainstream music is the music for the masses. These artists perform and create music that can be consumed, understood, and evaluated clearly and effectively by a vast majority of people. Even though their ideas are very concrete and can be deep and complicated, musicly they are easily interpreted and understood so everybody can take part. These artists would represent the middle of the spectrum, our democratic and republican nominees.

Then as you branch out farther left and right you get into a different more individualistic type of expression that only certain groups within the human listening audience can interpret and understand. These are your originators and actual creators. These are the people that question the boundaries of music itself and are in it not for the money, recognition, or exposure, but instead the journey of possibly stumbling upon something new, different, and exciting. Or maybe these are the people that are content, inside and out, with who they are and what they feel. I'm not sure, but both categories work jointly on the most basic level to create a very wide spectrum of music where anyone can belong or incorporate themselves within creating a popular musical culture with each individual having their own musical ideology. What gets you bumpin' and what gets me bumpin' can be totally different things, but the majority of our age group can equally get down to Sandstorm or Party In The USA... ya dig?

I just thought this was pretty cool and I think we should look at people, ideas, politics, life maybe, with just a more open and more liberal perspective when it comes to decisions, opportunites, etc. I've been recently been getting tangled in more debate over Obama and politics lately than ever before and I feel that people need to understand that there is never a right or wrong answer with life. Everyone has an opinion and yes "mistakes" can be made whether you think getting into the war for example was a mistake or not is up to you to decide. I just think that we all need to respect everyone's background and ideas and use these things to try to create the best society we can. Yea, I dream big but why not? What do I really have to lose?

Keep The Peace

-Mervyn