I'm sorry I haven't had anything great to say lately. My head's confused. I haven't been making time for God and that's the issue. I don't know what's going on but it's not good. I think I'm just gonna go out and take a lot of pictures today. Maybe with a friend, and sing his praise, and try to just appreciate this world and this life the correct way. I've just been everywhere but in the right place. I just need to get away for a minute.

1st night of halloween sucked. I'm not a big fan of halloween anyways and seeing some super sloppy men and women last night was interesting to say the least. It's too cold up here for skimpy costumes anyways even though I thought my costume was pretty groovy. Anyways I'm spinning a halloween party tonight and getting paid. It's gonna be an awesome time and I'm just pumped to make people dance and chill with my boys. That's all I like to do. I hope everyone's been safe this past week and to be honest I just can't wait for Sunday morning. I need to get in his presence and figure myself out. Cause I suck right now.

Keep The Peace

grace undeserved... i'll never fully understand.

i just want this cd.

I guess I'm in that spot again. I hate struggling against myself but that's how it always seems to pan out. I get away from God for a couple days and my mind just falls apart. I know that's how it's supposed to be, but maybe now's the time to really recommit myself. I don't know what to do, I feel like somethings you just gotta do for you. Maybe this is one of those? I can't tell, it's hard to figure out what I need cause I'm me. I trick myself. I guess it's time to go soul searching again, I just need a space of my own. Somewhere outside where I can just talk and not be weird. Maybe do some yelling? I feel like my mind needs to just be releaved. Ehh I'll figure it out. If any of you all pray I could use one. Sometimes you just need to know that someone's thinking about you, someone on this Earth wants to help. I'm lost for now, but I'll keep looking. The sun always seems to shine regardless of how bad the storm was.

"Don't Worry, Super Freak"

Home. Again.

I love it here. As I lay on my bed in my basement listening to Bobby McFerrin and Rick James on vinyl and stare at my new snowboard I'm just happy. I'm extremely blessed. I'm so excited for the future. I love this.

There's nothing like the sound of vinyl. It's so warm and just rich. Holding one of my favorite songs that was pressed onto this timeless material over 20 years ago is just awesome. I can't wait 'til I'm an old man and have an awesome vinyl collection that I can just sit down and enjoy. I love it.

Homesick. This song has the best lyrics I've heard in awhile. They're just perfect.



I lose some sales
and my boss won't be happy
but I can't stop listening to the sound
of two soft voices blended in perfection
from the reels of this record that I found

every day there's a boy in the mirror
asking me
what are you doing here
finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear

I travelled far and I burned all the bridges
I believed as SOON as I hit land
all the other
options held before me
WILL wither in the light of my plan

so I lose some sales
and my boss won't be happy
but there's only one thing on my mind
searching boxes underneath the counter
on a chance that on a tape I'd find

a song for
someone who needs somewhere
to long for

homesick
cause I no longer know
what home is

I love home.

Keep The Peace

I feel like one day I'm gonna finally make the jump to tumblr. It just seems so much more legitimate. Ehhh... iunno.

I can't concentrate today, I'm sick, I have a midterm in 2 hours, and I still don't wanna study. I just wanna sleep. Does anyone know of any extremely goofy happy songs right now? I could use one of those right now. It's funny how I get sorta naive about life yet I'm still happy. I like that. I found a new awesome blog today. I like that too. Today's good. Thank the Lord for the smile on my face :D.

Keep The Peace

Hey Now, Hey Now

This has been stuck in my head the past couple of days. I've never even seen this movie. HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA, life is so jolly :D.

10/19/10

I sort of have an issue with the English language. I feel like there's not enough words to express certain types of intent. Or maybe I'm just annoyed with the word why, and why everytime it comes up I am searching for something that I can't exactly find. There should be another question word that we use to distinguish between something that we can't exactly answer concretely I think. Questions that we can't back up with science or facts. Just so everybody's on the same page, so people understand how abstract or incomprehendible (sp) something may be.

Usually when I overanalyze my whys it's only to later realize that I'll never get anywhere with them. That somethings I'll never understand fully ya know? I think that's sorta cool. If we knew everything then I feel like life wouldn't be interesting. Things wouldn't have their value, and I feel like life would be minimized to a series of events with no more meaning than what the textbook gives it. Life would be a formula. You do this and this and you'll get this. I like the world like it is because there's so much room for reflection, interpretation, and change.

I'm just so happy to know people. I'm so blessed to be in a place where I can be me, and people accept that. I'm so happy to be in a place where people are interested in what I'm about. Jocelyn... you're an awesome person. I don't know what other people have said but you have a good mind and a good heart, and I hope you're happy and if you're looking for something I hope you find it.

This place feels like home more everyday. I'm glad I'm not judged by those close to me. Nothing beats the Squad and my Holland family. You people make being here so much awesomer.

God, today I'm really thankful for you. For showing up in my life. For lighting my path, for leading me. Thank you for not giving up on me, for forgiving me, for loving me. Thank you for giving me a heart for people, for bringing to me awesome friends, and for allowing me to grow. I don't know how you do it, I don't know what tomorrow brings, but what I do know is that everyday I choose to push you out I lose myself. Thanks for giving me purpose and identity. Thank you for finally making me happy, for making me content with my mind and for conquering my troubles. Thank you for giving me a reason to smile, a reason to cry, a reason to breathe, a reason to laugh, love, and live. I'm so happy to be alive today.

Keep The Peace