Digital Love

Music is soooooo awesome! I really think I was in need of a favorite song. So many songs have filtered through my ears within the past year and it's been awhile since something has really caught me by surprise like the song Digital Love by Daft Punk has. It pretty much culminates the peices I'd ever want in a song right now. Bumpin' bass, catchy lyrics, break down, gnar shredding electro guitar solo, and a proper resolution. Everytime I listen to this song whether it be remixes or the original it just gets me jammin. I appreciate its simplicity and its musicianship at the same time. I wish people in the US were down with dancing to EDM more than hip hop and top 40 songs. When will the notorious grinding days be over? I feel like that's not even fun really. I don't see any self expression in grinding. It's almost like an obligation, and I know when people's jams come on at home their first instinct isn't to go grind up on a wall. If that song was playing throughout the world and you were the only one in it you'd boogie on down, so why don't people do that at parties? Sometimes you just need to break free and go on a journey. This song is a sunroof open, windows down, arm out the window, wayfarer rockin' banger, and if I ever heard it outside of my house or car I'd go nuts.


Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long

Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long

The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true

Why don't you play the game ?
Why don't you play the game ?

Classic.

I'm just in that mood right now.

My summer has been super bleh and I just don't know what to do about it.
I'm not excited about things anymore, I feel like I've lost my edge.
All I can think about is this freaking math placement exam I have to take...
And I suck at math.
I don't know if I suck at it or if I just don't have the patience or discipline.
Sometimes I just wish I could trade brains with someone smarter.
It's weird how the life that I've feared living is encroaching upon me.
Maybe I've just spent too much time thinking.
I don't even remember the last time I had fun which is sad.
People I knew I don't even know anymore.
Summer has literally just burned my head out.
I wish I just knew what I wanted to do with myself.
I guess it wouldn't make anything easier, but it'd be nice for my mind to be at ease.
I just don't know where I fit.
I never thought I'd say this but I miss where I was at freshman year.
I need to get happy about something.
What do people do when they feel like this?

all my problems would be solved if I was just good at math.

today sucked.

It's true... it was just one of those days where you just can't do anything right. It doesn't happen to me often, but days like today really kill me. They're the days that I wish I really could have the strength to keep a cool head, but most of the time more than anything I just wanna punch some walls in. When days like today happen I feel like people don't understand who I am, or what I tried to do, and they just see the outside of the picture. I hate situations that look really bad on the surface so no matter what justification you have for the events that have occured, they never seem to matter. Times like these are the only times I get close to crying. Frustration makes me more emotional than anything.

It's crazy how a day that starts out with 4 hours of church can turn into an annoyance. But it's also crazy how at the end of each one of these days, I'm still alive. And I get over it. I think today was the quickest day I've gotten over feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes you gotta take the crap and nod your head and understand the concept that it's okay to mess up. Even if it's a big one. Everyone doesn't hate me and I don't need to hate myself. That's tough, but I'm getting better at it.

So during those 4 hours of church I heard a guest speaker's sermon that I've really come to like. His name is Dr. Segraves and I really like his style. I like people that refer to the Bible a lot because it's hard reading the bible by yourself sometimes and it's crazy how one verse that you skim over can be a revalation for another person. His message today was about living in the real world, and how people who don't really know God sorta bash him because of things like the Holocaust. He went through a couple of points throughout scripture but this is the one I bookmarked because I think it's very applicable to a lot of parts in our daily lives...

"I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come. Like fish in a net or birds in a trap, people are caught by sudden tragedy."
Ecclesiastes 9:9-12

For me this is pretty great news because I'm definitely not the smartest or fastest or strongest haha. But it's also interesting to think that a Lord with all power leaves room for chance, but as Dr. Segraves continued he backed this up by explaining that this chance is created because God has given us free will. And without free will there would be no such thing as love. Love wouldn't exist unless we would have the ability to choose to not love. So if we all were programmed to respond or act in certain ways then we wouldn't be able to experience love because it wouldn't be special. It wouldn't be a sacrificing and self-less gesture. Instead it would just be a gesture. I thought that was really sick. It's good to know that everything that happens in life does happen for a reason, even if that reason is beyond my understanding. It's good to know that whatever troubles in life I may face are not just because I mess up sometimes. Life isn't a cause and effect chain, there's more to us than that, and I dig it.

Moving on in that book I found another little quote I like...
"As dead flies cause even a bottle of perfume to stink, so a little foolishness spoils great wisdom and honor."
Ecclesiastes 10:1

I think that's so true and I wish people cared about their integrity like a bottle of perfume. I wish people knew how beautiful they could be if they just saw themselves as beautiful, if they saw themselves as something worth keeping.

But we're young and naive. I don't know how to end this so let's just say congratulations to Spain, and boo-hoo for Holland. I don't think they deserved it anyway and I personally think Robben is a tool :)

Keep The Peace my brothers and sisters!

If I could dance to anything right now, this guy would supply my music....


I <3 House.

12:17

I'm making a conscious effort to make my posts shorter, because I really get to rambling sometimes. Sorry :/

For starters... I'm happy.

Regardless of what's happened to me or what family matters are going on or what college stuff I have to get ready or whatever other resposibilities I might not be fulfilling at the moment... I am actually happy.

I really do think happiness is a mental thing. For so many years everyone tells you how to be happy.
I have been spoonfed by many people. Family, friends, strangers, old, young, the successful, and the unsuccessful, and it seems that everyone thinks they know about happiness. Like it's something you can put in a jar and mass produce. Like it's an equation that you can whip out that always comes to the same solution.

Once I stopped looking at everyone to the left, right, front, and back of me. Once I stopped comparing my life. Once I stopped taking advice from the man or woman with the fake smile....... I realized that happiness is inside of me.

If I was dying and had something to say it would be close to that. Please if you're reading this just think about it. Happinness is not a gain or a loss, it isn't a prize to be won by the handsome or most talented. Happiness is by all means attainable by all of us, and it takes God alone to supply that pure joy.

For me, I've noticed that I'm happy when I'm comfortable with myself. Not even neccessarily when I'm having "fun" cause I can be doing some of the most fun things that I like to do and not be the most bit happy. And I think that's a misconception. I've been told that I'll be happy when I find a job that gets me this amount of money or I can be happy with myself when I'm doing what I love. To be honest I'm happy when people don't write me off, when I'm not given a leash or a certain set of rules to follow. I'm happy when I have the opportunity to open up and show people that I'm not just a stupid kid, and that there's more ways to crack this puzzle called life. I'm happiest when I realize that the person I am and the person I have the potential to be is lining up. I'm happy when who I am can be of assistance to someone else. I'm happy when I can help.

The End.

p.s.- I still feel like that's a long post. Hopefully this will change in the near future.

Keep The Peace

Better Off Alone

Places. It's weird how just sights and smells can bring back memories. I wish I could say how I feel right now, but I can't really describe it. I guess I'm more reflective than anything. Four years is a long time to be consumed. Something about this summer is a lot different from all the other ones. I guess I've come to the time where I'm at one with whatever life is going to throw at me. I'm not worrying nor am I super duper excited. I'm just sorta letting it be I guess is the best way to describe it maybe?

Anyways... today I just decided was going to be an Egey day. Egey day's consist of just doing whatever Egey wants to do, which usually makes Egey day's very constructive because I can finally just take care of some stuff that I need to take care of. I decided that I would clean out my closet, watch some soccer, and work on some photos. I accomplished all 3 which was nice and had time to take a nap and work with a couple of songs that I'll be mixing soon. Overall it's been a quality day. Around 7 I decided I needed to get out of the house so I cruised out to Lansdowne to hit the creek and take some pictures. I'm trying to get myself back into using my camera because I love taking shots I just get too lazy to do it now a days. It's pretty funny how the days when you're not looking for anything in particular to shoot you find yourself with lots of subjects at your disposal. I think that's what I like about photography and how I go about it, whatever I get is what I get, and I like to make the best of what I bring and what is in front of me.

As soon as I hopped out my car I saw a deer just chillin in the woods. That's the best feeling, there's just something about nature that just brings me home. I don't know what it is, but I think something about the solitude and the co-existance is what makes me really comfortable. When I was out there today I realized that shooting nature for me is about just being out there. It's about finding that next spot and taking a couple minutes to really tap into the environment and see what's going on. If you look close enough there's these flies that just sidestep back and forth in this dried mud that sits upon the creek rocks. It's fascinating how that is going on while dragonflies are cleaning their wings and fish are swimming in the stream and deer are roaming the woodlands. Life is everywhere, yet there is an un-mentioned respect with these animals that is really beautiful. Animals don't just kill to kill, they don't just eat because they feel like eating berries today, they don't just spend their days wishing they were something else or trying to figure out how to one up their peers. They just live. I find it really interesting how we call people animals when they get out of control and do something crazy, when really animals just seem content. They seem happy in one way or another. It's almost like they've accepted the reality of life and death, and with that reality they've decided to focus on what's truly essential. I feel like that's where the human downfall is somewhat. We have the ability to do great things, but instead we use this ability to control everything instead of positively exist among all other beings. It's weird to think about it that way but I think it's true. God has given these animals the tools to live among other life with a purpose that is embedded within them. I'd like to think that on a simpler level I am similar to these animals. I have a purpose and I can make it in this world without having to be number one at everything. I know my place and I know what I'm here to do. I like that.

As I walk around Goose Creek I realize that I haven't been there in over a year. It seemed just like yesterday when it was me, skogy, andrew, and 'nam hitting that creek up everyday. A lot of who I am is the same, I still where white tee shirts and flip flops, I still love nature, and I still love taking pictures. But I must admit I've changed a lot and just reminiscing at these familiar sites and taking photos there again shows me some things about myself. I don't yearn for the company anymore. Time alone in solitude is time cherished for me now. It's weird, as much as I'm at home wishing I was doing something awesome, I soon realize that I like being my own company a lot more than not. I can think freely and just be me. It's nice not having to talk, not having to care, not having to feel. These moments are the times when I feel as free as I've ever fealt on this Earth.

Life is a sequence of events. A lot of them seem really similar and our wisdom grows and develops everyday. Through taking pictures I've realized that life is a lot like revisiting an old stomping ground like I did today and going through the motions again. When you take pictures you compose in your mind how you want it to look, you frame it with the camera, and then at the right moment you capture it. Life is very similar and I've noticed when you come back to familiar places and do the same thing, you realize how different you are from before and how much you've learned. You look at the same subject and the same environment in a different way, and sometimes that's all it takes. Just a new outlook on what was always there in front of you to begin with.

Cruising through the streets of Lansdowne on my longboard I retraced my footsteps to the home of where an awesome girl I knew used to live. That was the first time I'd seen that house in over a year and I'm not gonna lie it evoked some emotion. I walked to the same playground we hung out at and took a second to remember. No matter how things turn out, we always have the good memories and it's nice to hold on to that. She crosses my mind every once in awhile and to be honest I like to forget all the nonsense that happened and focus on who she was. She's an amazing person and it's people like that in this world that give me hope for the future. When we talked she said she was writing a book, and if you who I'm referring to ever reads this, I hope someday you'll finish that book and remember me cause I want a copy.

Like I said before, people come and people go, but those who take the time to dig deep enough to reach your heart leave a lasting imprint upon it forever. Alright this is becoming a reflective essay so I'm just gonna stop haha. I'll post some before and after pictars of some of these places just so you as well as I can see the difference in these places through my eyes.

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered, and that my life is fleeing away. My life is no longer than the width of my hand. An entire lifetimes is juast a moment to you; human existence is but a breath."
Psalm 39

Keep The Peace